Who I Follow
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SLICE THEIR PALM TO GET BLOOD. do you know how many nerve endings are in your hand?!?! why don’t they ever cut the back of their arm or their leg or something omfg

me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit  (via jtoday)

WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL

(via jtoday)

and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital 

(via panconkiwi)

That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it

(via gallifrey-feels)

There is a freaking door right there. Stop smashing through windows, damn it.

(via intheforestofthenight)

yes, mr. action hero, I am aware that running dramatically from the baddies at breakneck speed is important, but know what else is important? NOT GETTING SHOT. RUN IN A FUCKING ZIGZAG PATTERN ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THE MOOKS WERE NOT COACHED IN MARKSMANSHIP BY THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS.

(via pterriblepterodactyls)

Oh, hey, you there, sneaky hero-type breaking into any place for any reason? WEAR SOME FUCKING GLOVES. They’re called fingerprints, dumbass. You have them and you’re putting them all over the fucking place.

(via dawnpuppet)

If something really fucking huge is falling on you, don’t FUCKING RUN ALONG THE LENGTH JUST TAKE LIKE TWO FUCKING STEPS TO THE SIDE

(via takshammy)

wEAR A FUCKING HELMET OBERYN YOU LITTLE SHIT

(via brigwife)

(via delicatestarfish)

anothersalvagemission:

What if you miss?

(via delicatestarfish)

1lostone:

maxkirin:

In your head:

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In paper:

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this made me laugh so hard because it’s so accurate.

(via delicatestarfish)

spectacledotter:

karlosmadera:

I’m still torn on whether this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done or the stupidest. 

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this guy is playing skyrim correctly

(via featherymischief)

cogging:

my friend told me how electricity is measured and i was like watt

(via wilyrapscallion)

pieforcastiel:

giveme-brandy-onmybreath:

bobby taught him how to be a kid, john taught him how to be a soldier

In which I love Bobby a little more and hate John a little more

(via westerbroski)

mochisquish:

one of many reasons i’m over 200 hours in and haven’t finished

(via allybebe)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???
aquabutt aquabutt Said:

the-kellin-under-the-vic:

This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material

353,248 plays

thelittlestotter:

cannedviennasausage:

noneuclidean:

The start of a little project I’m working on.

perfection

I knew it was coming. I knew it. And I’m still laughing.

(via subchaddanforth)

therainbowgorilla:

gamingartandlove:

So uh, I haven’t seen this on my dash, but check out this kickstarter!

They’re waterballoons that SELF TIE, make a HUNDRED at a time, AND AND they’re biodegradablee!! Seriously why isn’t this all over my dash yet??

They’ve already reached WAY over their goal, but you can still get some early bird deliveries for an early start of the water balloon madness!

Where was this during my childhood

(via fragarie)

asktheaquaprincess:

when u start to ship ur oc with ur friends oc

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(via kinkyunicorn)

sashaforthewin:

unclewhisky:

clannyphantom:

if ur hair covers ur boobs u have mermaid hair and u are a mermaid i dont make the rules

As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds.

You are a mermaid, sir

(via fragarie)

teacosi:

lemon fashions
( some outfits from various official AT comics/games weh // )

bonus

(via pastrylike)

921,747 plays
Lazy Town ft. Lil Jon

rosiequartz:

this will never not be funny

(via faeriefountain)